So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
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