Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
