I love black thongs
Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
