i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
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