i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
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