please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
