We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
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