i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
where are you?
Hypothermia
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
