Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
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