So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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