I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
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