it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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