You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Randomize
