This dress was meant to end up on your floor
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
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