Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
Randomize
