Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize
