Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
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