so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
