you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
