That's intense
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
I need a beard to bite.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Randomize
