I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
Randomize
