Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
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