Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
Randomize
