never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
It's never too late to be topless.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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