Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Randomize
