so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
