How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
