i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
