i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Randomize
