You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
