Dude my mom stole all your condoms
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Randomize
