I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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