Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Randomize
