3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Randomize
