this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
Buhtt sex?
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize
