we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
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