idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
bring money and cleavage
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
