we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
