she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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