...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
Randomize
