Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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