you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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