he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
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