theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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