I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
