i dont even know how to be here
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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