We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
