hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize
