I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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