his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
