He disabled his match.com account in front of me
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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