I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
Randomize
