im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
My sheets look like a crime scene.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
